Finding fault. This is a major belief system many have and don’t recognize. When something doesn’t go right, do you blame someone or something? Do you get angry? Here’s a common one, do you blame your employer because you don’t make enough money to pay the bills and have some left over for extra spending? Do you get upset if you don’t get a raise or the raise you got wasn’t as high as you expected? Do you complain?
All of these attitudes keep you in a negative state and push away those things you want with the money you don’t have. If you get angry, its because someone did not live up to your expectations. Blaming someone else for things that go wrong is almost as bad. Clarity at the onset of any negotiated deal is so important to prevent unmet expectations. After all, we choose who we negotiate with and we make the deals.
Avoiding the potential negative outcome needs to be done at the beginning of the discussion. Making sure that the deal we enter into, covers all the needs of both parties and then commit to it. When people know what the expectation is in advance, they will give it their best shot, most of the time. When things even under the best clarity don’t meet expectations, perhaps our choice of who we deal with was short changed. Perhaps we entered into an agreement with assumed expertise and didn’t take the time to qualify that expertise.
Before challenging others, we need to challenge ourselves and ask ” Is there something that I have overlooked to get the results I got?” “Should I have perhaps gotten some references before entering into this deal?” “Did I qualify the references I did get?”
Do you accept 100% responsibility for the decisions and choices you make? Do you review the consequences of your decisions before entering into a deal?
Sometimes we blame others because we have been taught how. Perhaps we have conditioning that no longer serves us. That conditioning is a limited belief, your next step.