Co-creation and attitude management takes on a little twist from individual. When you co-create, you are creating or working with one or more individuals. Be they family, spouse, neighbours, community organizations, employers or others, you will have to agree upon the terms of the “co-” part of the joint venture. If you now decide that those terms are no longer within your life desires, you will have to graciously decline continuing.
You can quit your job, your volunteer organization, stop seeing neighbours real quick. You may not necessarily want to end your relationship with your spouse/partner real quick. You may want that to continue for all the right reasons and address those issues openly by a joint communication process that will enhance the relationship. My space here is insufficient to go into the process. That is where coaching, counseling and attitude management come in.
Where most people find themselves in a dilema in wanting to change, and I speak from experience here, is that what began as a great relationship, though poorly defined, is now having challenges for those things that are not there. This is true of all relationships not just spousal. When we speak of deliberate creation, the clarity that is defined prior to the relationship, determines what the relationship will be. Any compromise on what you actually want before entering a relationship will undoubtedly show up down the road as dissatisfaction. You attract the signal you put out. You may not be able to change the rules of engagement within the relationship after it has begun. You can certainly work toward change, however, we can only change ourselves, not others, and if others can’t be persuaded to change, you need to decide for yourself whether or not to continue.
Having good co-creation attitude management in withdrawing from a relationship or rebuilding one is critical to how you will feel throughout the process. By all means, do not get caught up in character assassination.
Until next time….